Sunday, April 29, 2012

Dealing with the Negativity

I've taken a short break from blogging this week beside the Oshkosh half marathon pictures and race recap.   To be completely honest, I've sort of been short on words.   When it came to things to blog about, I've been blank.   There are small snippets of things that I could say but to make an entire blog post solely on that would be stretching it.    I do have a couple posts already planned for this week so I hope that I can muster up the energy to make the post for them.  

The main purpose of this post is to vent about some things I find anywhere from slightly irritating to the point where I am yelling "enough!"  Most of the negativity in my life these days surrounds my running.   It's the negative comments from people I get about my running.   Nearly everyone I'm surrounded by is guilty of saying something that could be taken as in insult at one time or another when it comes to my running.    To be perfectly honest, I'm so tired of it.  

I've heard over and over that I need to do more than just run.   The truth is, I do.   I have taken several classes at the Y on a regular basis and only stopped recently because I wanted to focus more on running the last few weeks leading up to my half marathon.   One of the classes caused my ankle to act up and forced me to skip a couple runs so I decided at that moment that I was done with classes until after my half marathon.   It worked out and I avoided any more ankle pain and only dealt with the ITB pain caused by my running.   

I feel like people are tired of hearing me talk about my running.   I tend to not talk about it too much and to almost get silent about it because I get way too excited when someone opens that door of conversation.   None of my friends are runners.   I've tried to get a few of them to take it up.   To find the obsession.  None have stuck it out.  It takes a long time to fall in love with running.   It's possibly the hardest thing I have done in my life.   There are really crappy days that make you think you suck.   There are also those 10 mile runs (or more) that you finish and felt great the whole time and make you think you're possibly the most awesome person in the world, even if it is slow to most runners standards.   You rocked it and therefore you learn to love the feeling running gives you.  

My mom was pretty guilty of telling me that my running was too much.   Thankfully, over time she has loosened up a bit about it and actually runs 2-3 miles at the Y now and has learned to love it.   Her love is more because of the bang for your buck when it comes to time and calories but at least she is laying off of me a little more now.   She used to say anything over 5 miles is too much and that I'm going to end up killing myself if I do a full marathon.    I argue it but arguing with her is pointless.  Mom is always right (in her head).

I've been mocked when I opt out of something because that is when I need to be running.   I've been told that I take running too seriously.  It makes me realize that a support system would be so great.   People that understand.   At this point I don't really have that though so I'm forced to just deal.  

I feel like I do a good job of balancing family and running but I know Mike would argue that to an extent.  I still get the look when I say that I'm going to go run.  Sometimes he asks ahead of time if I plan on running that morning or day but sometimes he will get home from work and I am dressed in running clothes and he just knows with out any warning at all.   I am a stay  at home mom during the day (while also watching my niece) and I just need to get out and get some fresh air and time to think or listen to music.    It's such a release.  

I don't go out to the bars on the weekend.  Okay maybe a few times a year.   I do not leave my family to go on trips.   I don't have any clubs or groups I am a part of.   I work a part time job a couple of days a week.   

I need something for me.    Running is for me.    Any mother knows that you lose your identity a little bit while you have young kids.  You are mom.   That is your only identity for at least the first few years.   It's hard to be selfish during that time.  My daughters are finally getting old enough that I am able to find myself again.  I also want to teach them that it's important to be a little selfish with yourself.   I want them to realize that along with being mommy, I am also a person with feelings, goals, and dreams.    I can only hope that they will see me work hard at this and remember it.  Nothing worth while comes easily. 

 I would love it if someday they learned to love running just as much as I do.   I can promise you that I would encourage them.  I would be their cheerleader.   Maybe I can even be there to run with them.   To be that support system that I so desperately want. 

A girl can dream, right? 

Do you have a great support system?

Do you deal with negative comments from people that don't understand your love for running?


14 comments:

  1. :(
    Non runners just don't understand. As long as you're listening to your body and not becoming obsessive or unhealthy... many the miles I say. Sorry to hear that you're feeling less than supported Sarah. I feel lucky to have a good support system. Running has changed me for the better and my people seem to notice that. Remember that if your day to day people are having trouble giving you the support, YOUR BLOG people are here to do just that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Running is a million times harder when you don't have support. I think the longer you are a runner the more the people around you realize how important it is to you. My husband and family weren't always the best supporters but after coming to some races and seeing how much it means to me, they have become some of the biggest cheerleaders.

    The good thing for you is that the Pacesetters are nearby and although you have to put yourself out there a bit, I think it will be a big pick me up to join in on all their fun. Plus now you know a few local runners who I bet would love a running buddy now and then.


    And like Falon said, the online community is awesome and will always have your back!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOAH! I can't believe people say those things to you. You know what I'd do ;)

    and you can tell me about running any day xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am sorry you aren't getting the support you would like from your friends and family too. It must be very difficult to stay with it and I applaud your efforts.... especially the longer runs when it takes more time and more out of you for the rest of the day or even the next day.

    I have been getting some good support and advice and encouragement while I have been training for my half marathon, since Jan 1st, from the people that read my blog.

    My friends think I am nuts. My family pays me lip service and says 'good for you' but they are not really interested... but my wonderful husband is running alongside me just to keep me company. I doubt I would have been able to do it otherwise - I am not really a group joiner and wouldn't have joined a running group to do this.

    I think all of us who read your blog would agree with what Falon and Rachel and Ali Mc have already told you, the blogging community is always here for you... just as you are there for us.

    Good to talk about these things I think and I admire your forthrightness! And your determination.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i'm so sorry that you're dealing with this negativity. this is actually a huge reason that i blog, because i feel like i get support that i don't always get elsewhere. my husband supports me but i don't think my family really gets it. they think i'm crazy. i'm here anytime you want to talk about running! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sorry you lack that support system. It's hard to do something, especially something you love, when your friends and family are negative about it. These are the people who's support and love means the most. I hope that one day they will realize that running is your thing and support you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I support you. Sorry if I made you feel like I didn't. I think it is amazing you finally found something for yourself that you are so passionate about. You are a huge part of the reason I started running. You got me to sign up for two fun races! I'd still be running if I didn't start to feel tired all day long, get horrible nausea, and get sick in the morning... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I always remembered my dad running when I was growing up. It took a while to spark something in me but now he's my absolute favorite running partner :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Could not agree more with so much of what you've said. You NEED to take this time for you. Running makes you a better you, and that makes you a better mom, and wife, and friend.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with so much negativity. We should do a group run one of these nights - you'll be surrounded by the love of running! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sing it, sister. For me personally, i take that negativity and feed off of it. (The easiest way to get me to do something is to say i can't do it.) And for blogging, whenever i am short on words, i just whine about everything :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think runners always have to deal with this in some way, I love how most of my family thinks that I would be healthier in the long run if I didn't run. That one just doesn't make sense at all to me so I guess I'll just have to prove that as time goes by.

    I've used blogging as one avenue to help gain the support, also there are free runs put on by Fleet Feet around here so you can always join one of those if you get the chance. Or we can do a run together too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. In my opinion if it's not running then it's something else that people will claim takes away from your family, friends, or whatever. It sounds like you make time for everything and everyone and that's all you can do. It's up to everyone else to get over themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  13. In the grand scheme of life, there are so many other BAD habits, that you're very blessed to have adopted such a great one! And maybe that's the issue? Others are jealous of your strength in practicing to be healthy, strong, and fit, instead of practicing to be 'average'. In the end, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing; most of us are right there with you! Brush that dirt off your shoulder----and RUN! :)
    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sarah, I do not really have a support system....on the flip side my son Phoenix (13) started taking an interest in running! :)))
    I am looking into joining Oshkosh running club, I think running with others can be helpful too (there was an article in this months runners world), while still doing solo runs during the week to preserve your alone time.

    ReplyDelete